Just a Girl, Her Man, and her Bear
by Quaxo
Summary: Part of the weekly challenge over on the USA boards. This is the saga of Steven, Alex Eames' teddy bear, and later on her life with Joe. Bobby, Mike and others occasionally pop up too.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own LOCI, or it's characters. Just Steven.

* * *

"I've seen a lot, but I've got to admit: _that_ freaks me out."

The '_that_' Logan is referring to is the worn teddy bear sitting on Eames' bedspread. It's black plastic eyes are heavily scratched, giving them a murky gray cast that makes the bear look blind. The bear is a bit of a patchwork, all it's limbs have been reattached with brightly colored thread. The head of the bear has light brown matted fur, it's left arm and paw is covered prickly black, the torso is stained white, and the remaining limbs are made of ruby corderoy. None of the limbs are the same size as the other.

It's a Franken-bear.

"The fact that Eames has a teddy bear on her bed, or the way it looks?"

"Both, I think. First, I never thought of Eames as _-- girly _-- enough to put stuffed animals on her bed, as old as she is. Second, that bear looks like it's been through Brooklyn with a "mug me" sign strapped to it's back... If Eames were a boy I'd have understood, but girls --their not supposed -- what the hell did she do to it?!"

Bobby smirks, opening the closet and collecting the suit Eames had asked him to pick up. Logan had seen him driving and flagged him down, apparently his car had broken down he needed a ride into work. Why he couldn't have just grabbed a taxi -- who was he kidding, Logan was way too cheap to take a taxi. He'd told Eames that he'd picked up a passenger and she hadn't seemed to mind, but she probably would if she knew Logan was snooping in her bedroom.

"I don't know, I'll tell her you asked--"

"Don't! If she'd do _that_ to a defenseless teddy bear, I don't want to know what she'd do to me!"


	2. He was just born that way, I guess

"Did you see how calmly she stood there as they handed her the medal

"So, Eames... I noticed your teddy bear... does it have a name?"

Alex glared across the massive stacks of paperwork that Ross had dumped across their desks. Bobby probably wasn't going to make fun of her for her choice in bed adornment, but, and she could hear her seven year old self (who had dragged that bear around devotedly) chime in: _boys are stupid_.

"Steven."

Bobby looks slightly surprised by the average name, but doesn't question it. He probably expected Steven to be a girl, but she'd known the moment she'd gotten Steven (who was originally the stained white portion. He retained the name Steven because his chest was where his heart was, or at least that was the seven year old's logic at the time).

"What happened to him?"

"He was born that way, I guess."

Bobby's dissatified with her answer, but no way in hell is she telling him that when she was seven she dreamed about becoming a surgeon and Steven was her first 'patient'.


	3. C3

"Did you see how calmly she stood there as they handed her the medal

"Don't make this harder than this has to be..." She says in her nicest voice, just like the doctors on TV.

She pats Steven's front paw comfortingly.

"Your legs are no good, Steven, they're all infected and we have to cut them off otherwise you're gonna die. It'll be okay, I found you a donor legs so you can walk just like normal once you heal up. Now, are you going to stop being such a crybaby and let me do this?"

The glint in Steven's eyes seems to concede to his doctor's good sense.

"Alright I'm gonna put you under ana-steez-shuh, time to go to sleep."

She helps Steven lie back before tying a scarf across her mouth.

"Nurse! Scissors!" She calls out, but because Jimmy wouldn't play because he couldn't be the doctor (there was no way she was going to be the _nurse_), she has to grab them herself.

She's just made the last in-siz-shun when her mother comes in the door--

"_ALEXANDRA CAROLINE EAMES!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"_


	4. Chapter 4

"Did you see how calmly she stood there as they handed her the medal

_"Did you see how calmly she stood there as they handed her the medal? If it'd been me, I would've been bawling."_

"I know. I haven't seen her shed a single tear the whole ceremony. She must still be in shock, the poor thing."

"Or maybe she and her husband weren't that close? I've heard some rumors about those female officers--"

"She's so brave, standing there."

"I'm glad it wasn't me."

She's spent all day listening to them talk about her behind her back, after they'd shaken her hand and expressed their 'condolences'.

They didn't understand, none of them did. Her family, to their credit, were trying, but it wasn't enough. They were either police officers, or wives of police officers, no one understood what it was like to have to be both.

She turns down multiple offers of rides home or places to stay for awhile. She needs some time to be on her own, away from everyone's grieving.

The ride home is quiet, and exhaustion that she's fought all week begins to seep into her body. She pulls into her driveway just in time. She lets the dog out, feeds the bird, removes her make up, and takes a shower. Stepping into the bedroom, still drying her hair when she realizes she didn't make this bed this morning. Joe normally--

Refusing to fall into her memories, she drops her towel and starts putting the bed in order, pulling the sheets straight and tucking them into tight hospital corners. She smoothes the comforter, and adjusts the pillows.

She finds him as she's searching for the decorative pillow underneath the bed. Familiar eyes glimmer in the half light, seeming to say, "Let go. You can trust me."

The tears sting her eyes as she pulls Steven out, brushing off the dust bunnies that have collected on his fur.

_"No offense honey, it's great to see that at one time you were a sweet innocent little girl," Joe laughs as she punches his shoulder. "But he kind of creeps me out."_

"I was never sweet," She murmurs, plucking Steven out of his grasp, tossing him behind the bed before she pounces on Joe, intent on proving that she's not so 'innocent' either...  
  
The sobs shake her body and she clutches Steven desperately to her chest, remembering one of the best things about her oldest friend: his fur hid tears so well.


	5. Chapter 5

"I've seen enough monkeys for today, thank you very much," She chides as she pulls Jason off the back of her couch.

_What was I thinking, giving him ice cream at the zoo today? Especially since he's staying with me._"You ready for dinner, kiddo?"

"Yah!"

"You're going to eat all your vegetables, aren't you?"

"Uhmmm..."

She raises an eyebrow, a move that's intimidated siblings, johns, partners, and even on occasion superior officers much bigger than her nephew.

"I seem to recall that being the deal for the ice cream earlier today."

_Not that I'd call that ice cream; a Mickey Mouse shaped lump of blue and white ice cream shoved on a stick? Ice cream should be in a cone or not at all._"Do I hafta?"

"That was the promise you made. Now, what are you going to tell your mother when she asks what you had for dinner?"

"Shik-ken Parma-shawn-nah."

"Good boy," She smirks, helping him into the chair.

Halfway through their king's feast of spaghetti rings, chicken fingers and green beans, Jason looks up at her suddenly. The domesticity of the scene stings ever so slightly; ten years ago she would've dreamed that Joe would be beside her and Jason would be her _son_ and not the nephew she just happened to carry within her for nine months.

"Auntie Alex, you're brave right?"

"Why do you ask?"

Green eyes grow bright with barely restrained tears and instantly she's on alert, ready to punish whoever's hurt her nephew.

"You're a policeman, so you have to be brave, right? B-billy said that only babies and wusses have teddy bears, buh-but I _like_ Jayjay! 'M not a _wussy_ am I?"

She bites her tongue hard so she doesn't laugh; she'd forgotten all the drama and intensity of being five. She remembers her brothers confronting her over Stephen at that age: they all wound up with bruised shins and she'd spent the rest of the day in her room alone as punishment.

_He really isn't my kid..._

"You're not a wussy, Jason. I'll even let you in on a secret," She leans conspiratorially over the table, "I have a teddy bear still."

"You do?"

"Yep."

Suddenly, tears are gone, and eyes are narrowed in a suspicious glare as he tilts his head back slightly.

"Prove it," Jason demands.

_Okay, maybe a little bit my kid..._ she smiles to herself.

A small warm hand, sticky with tomato sauce slips in her hand as she leads him to her bedroom to properly introduce him to Stephen.


	6. Chapter 6

She understands, really, she does.

After Joe died she went for nearly a year without it; at her lowest points she'd grimly accepted that she'd never do it again. You grow used to it, begin to hardly feel it's abscence as the second month stretches into the third... It's as if you never did it at all.

Then you do it again, and it's so wonderful, that you just want the moment to last forever.

"Oh--oh--"

"Bobby, honestly, wrap it up."

"I'm--trying--"

She barely manages to stifle a groan as she watches her partner's red face contort above her. She knows it's been years, probably, since Bobby's done it but he's starting to abuse her good graces.

"It's not that funny."

This does not have the intended effect as a fresh peal of laughter errupts from her partner. Not that she can blame him, she laughed so hard when her brother slipped on the ice and slopped cranberry sauce all over himself the Thanksgiving after Joe's death that she'd almost peed her pants.

"Oh-okay, I'm done."

"Good. Now let's interview the witness and get out of here."

As they enter the grand foyer, she does groan when she sees the massive banners hanging from the walls, dark eyes glaring down at her accusingly --

--And Bobby's lost it again, shrieking loudly like a howler monkey and attracting stares from the passersby.

"You--you--"

"Yes, Bobby. I cut up what turned out to be a twenty thousand dollar teddy bear. _When I was seven_."

"Y-your face-- when you saw--and you're so--"

She sighs loudly, rolling her eyes, "I'm so _what_, Goren?"

" _--cheap_! You just cut him up_--twenty thousand dollars!"_She's resents that, just a little bit. She's not cheap, she's just-- conservative with her money. Growing up one of five kids being raised on a cop's salary teaches you that. It's not something to be ashamed of--

"Who pays twenty thousand dollars for a damn teddy bear anyway? Now will you pull yourself together?"

"Okay, okay..." His face once again becomes solemn, but only for a split second. "Go! Go, Eames... j-just pretend I'm not here-- _twenty thousand dollars!_"

Sighing she walks towards their witness, a nervous-looking auctioneer (although whether it's because of guilt or her partner's complete and utter breakdown is tossup), trying to ignore the chilly stares of pre-operation Steven on the posters around her.

Hearing Bobby really laugh for the first time in two and a half years might have actually been worth twenty thousand dollars though.

_I'm sooo not cheap._


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh god..." she mumbles, pressing the heels of her hands into her pounding temples.

"Sssshhh...too loud," Even though she knows Sally's whispering it sounds like she's shouting.

She should just keep her eyes closed and slip back into sleep and maybe her brain will stop trying to escape her head by bashing itself against her skull.

Except she has to know-- She always has to know, it's why she knew she had to become a police officer.

Groaning softly, she opens her eyes.

Their apartment is a wreck. Beer bottles, napkins, and cups litter the floor, chip and pretzel crumbs are ground into the carpet. There is someone's bra hanging from the ceiling and a quick check confirms it's not hers, thank god.

However, she is wearing a very nearly see-through pink nightie and she can feel her pigtails drooping. _Oh right... costume party. Damn Sally for talking me into this stupid idea..._ Steven, her teddy bear is near by, clutching a half-empty beer bottle and a note. Slowly, she reaches out and takes both.

A good deep swig of the beer eases her throbbing head and makes it possible to decipher the messy handwriting:

_Helpful Hint: Wait until you're sober before trying that again.  
--Joe  
PS: What's with the bear?_

"Sally, what did I do last night?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Don't look at me like that," She snaps, wanting to punch (or kiss _dammit!_) that smug look off his face.

"Like what?"

"Like you've seen me in a skimpy nightgown."

"But it's such a memorable outfit," He leers and she rolls her eyes.

"That's sexual harassment, Cadet Dutton."

"So was what you did while you were wearing that nightgown, Cadet Eames."

"I was having a rare moment of _intoxication_. It doesn't mean anything---" Even though she wished it could. She'd had the teeniest tiniest crush on Joe from when they met at the class mixer at the start of academy. She didn't have time for a boyfriend, and she already had enough marks against her just for being a woman as a police officer, she didn't need to add fuel to the fire by acting like a hormonal teenage girl.

"You know it's a crime to lie to an officer of the law? An obstruction of justice---"

"Good thing you're not an officer yet then... and I'm not lying." _Why do I like you again?! GO AWAY!_.

"You are and I can prove it."

Then he pulls her into the closet and kisses her. She freezes, contemplates kneeing him in the groin and --- gives in.

They break away ages later, breathless and starry eyed.

"Alright, here's the deal. No one can know about us until we're out of academy. No bragging to your friends, no hints about having a girlfriend, nothing. My career will always come first to me. I'm not going to marry you, settle down and stay home with our five kids while you go out and fight crime all day. I'm going to be the first in my family to make captain, and you'd better be okay with that. Any questions?"

He grins, melting her heart just a little bit more.

"Just one. What was _with_ that bear?"


	9. Chapter 9

"Perfect. Now we're late _and_ lost." She hisses through her teeth, squinting against the bright headlamps of the car in the on-coming lane and the glare of the snow whipping around them.

"If _I_ were driving we wouldn't be lost..." Joe grumbles from the seat beside her. "It _is_ my parent's house at all..."

"If you were driving we'd be in the ditch, and there's no way I'm going to get trapped in _New Jersey_ on Thanksgiving---"

"Like Brooklyn is so much better," Joe snipes. "I told you to take the east exit---"

"_AS_ we passed it. I need a little forewarning before I cross three lanes of traffic in the middle of a blizzard!"

"It's not a blizzard, it's just a little snow..."

She lets out an exasperated sigh, adjusting her grip on the steering wheel. "How's my casserole?"

"Still in one piece and burning a hole in my pants."

She nearly gives in to the temptation to tell him to stop being such a baby and suck it up, but it would only make the situation worse. It's not Joe's fault that she's on edge anyway--- well it is in a way, since he decided that it would be a good idea to introduce her to his parents on Thanksgiving, completely ignorant of how stressful that is. It took her two tries to get the green bean casserole right, she'd spilled cream of mushroom on her best "meet the parents" dress (the one that was just the right length, with just enough cleavage to say 'I'm not a prude' while still being decent), so she'd had to make do with the slacks and blouse she'd last worn to her sister's graduation...

Joe had told her over and over that his parents would love her, but how many guys said that and how many times was it actually _true_... This was a major test in their relationship, and she had to impress his mother, because otherwise she just might as well kiss their relationship goodbye--- and she'd gotten attached to Joe over the last year and a half... She was just starting to get him broken in.

She manages to eventually find her way to Joe's parents place, working her way backwards through the streets, some blind guesses, and listening to Joe's grumbled directions. Why she had agreed to come again? She could be at her parents' house enjoying turkey and the football game on TV wearing sweatpants and a tshirt----

"_Smile_, you look like you're going to an execution..." Joe whispers in her ear, before knocking on the door.

The door swings open and immediately Joe is pulled into the embrace of a short matronly sort of woman.

"You're finally here! Tell me you weren't driving Joe, you always get lost."

"Nah, Ma, Alex won't let me…"

"Smart girl, I like her already," His mother winked at her and she felt herself relaxing just a bit.

There's no awkward interrogation over the dinner table, for which Alex is incredibly grateful for, but she knows the games have only just begun. Joe said his parents were perfectly sweet and loved all his dates, but Alex had seen the grilling her mother had put her brothers' girlfriends through and knew that her mom could probably break the most hardened criminals with the menacing squint of her eyes. It was, perhaps, the way of all mothers.

Then Joe and his dad sneak off into the living room to watch the end of the game, leaving her and Joe's mother (_"Call me Doris, Alexandra."_) to do the dishes. Doris tells her to go in and enjoy the game, but Alex is pretty sure that's a trick, and insists on helping. She can tell by Doris' pleased grin that it's the right move.

She manages to dodge most of Doris' questions, keeping her answers neutral and very non-specific (especially when it comes to when they might have children). She's managed to keep her happy though, as Doris leads her upstairs to show her Joe's room, apparently kept in immaculate condition.

Sitting in the center of the bed is a ragged blue toy rabbit with lumpy stuffing and ears worn bare.

"That's Nick, Joe dragged him around everywhere when he was younger. He used to pretend he was his little brother --- we had Joe so late that it wasn't possible to give him a sibling. You shouldn't wait too long."

She smiles, nodding in agreement with Doris' words, even though she wasn't going to even think about kids before she was ready. She and Joe had plenty of time…

"Do you mind if I borrow this? There's this perfect place in our apartment---"


End file.
